I’ve been letting myself go through all of the grieving stages. I am trying to get ready for when you leave…but I am so not ready. DENIAL: At first I didn’t accept it…I couldn’t accept it. I was 6 months pregnant and no where near ready. It was surreal. It hadn’t sunk in. RESENTMENT: I became angry and grumpy with you because I didn’t want to do this alone. I didn’t want to raise our son alone and I didn’t want to deal with the pain. I became distant and kept you away. BARGAINING: I don’t know how I got through this time. There isn’t any way to get out of it. I quickly moved into the second to last phase…DEPRESSION: I am so sad thinking about you leaving me and I am scared out of my mind. I have found myself in a fog and I don’t know how I am going to get out of it. I don’t think I will be able to reach ACCEPTANCE until you have actually gone and I have to accept that you are going to be away for a while. I am so scared. You are my whole world and I cannot imagine being away from you for so long and not being able to talk to you. I can barely make it one day without seeing you and I certainly hate when I can’t sleep next to you. This is going to be the hardest thing I ever do. I am trying to be brave for you . Trying to stay strong. It’s just so hard when the most important person in my life is leaving me. I love you my Marine.
SO IN LOVE!!
